...it's probably because you think you're cooler than me.

So, another year is going by, and I find myself fortunate enough that while I'm wading through this most recent crashing wave of "god I hate this family", I can have enough moments of sheer awesome that it almost makes it all worthwhile.

I feel like a hipster, celebrating Halloween (or Samhain, for people who care) at this age. Actually caring about a costume, and aesthetics? Ugh. But nonetheless, I look forward each year, not just because I love the holiday and have a sweet tooth, but because I spend it in the company of friends and the woman I love. What more can you ask for? More days like that.

Oh, and I saw Florence in the same diner.

Oh, the wit of God.

Seriously though, I'm starting to lose my faith, because of all this crap. I may have done some jerkish things in my life, but I try to help people when I can. My friends know me as a sort of puckish guardian angel. (Okay that may be stretching it) I'm there. I don't deserve to be disrespected like this, by the same people whose name I've tried so hard to restore credibility, honor to, I am the one who fought the hardest for my family, but in the end I'm the outcast once again. I know I joked about being the J.A.D (Jesus Allegory Douchebag) but this is utter crap. I mean, why do I have to deal with this?

But in the end, I'll have my revenge, I guess. When things start going to hell, -and with this family, it's like an annual event- they'll realize that their best hope, the absolute best thing to happen to the Chico family, the savior of the entire family name has given up on them. Maybe I should just change my name to Jose Enrique Chico the First, because I might as well be Patriarch, and hell, I will be of my own clan. Shit, I'll even come up with my own family crest. Hell, if you think about it, I would by default be leader of This Thing of Ours.

Arrogance.
 Because no one has done it better.


So I'm getting better at this school thing. Y'know, the whole doing it concept. Don't get me wrong, I'll always miss the days of making money and partying and hanging out, but I gotta move away from that sort of thing, at least for the moment. I'm still here though. The Party will always there, professionalism and maturity be damned. I know that sentence will probably cause me an issue or two, but I'll defend my right to have fun and live life to the death. Just because I'm growing into a future doesn't mean it has to be mundane and without the guys who got me there. Besides, I think the company I keep (most of em) will make great uncles for my kids, but that may be thinking to far ahead. What can I say? She has me thinking about that crap, and unfortunately starting to worry a little. The worrying part is if there will come a point in time where I might lose the part of my life I actually like. I'm not the guy that sits and reads the newspaper for fun, and can't do anything else. That's not who I envision myself. That house'll be there, the fence? maybe? Kids? Someday? A wife? If She'll put up with my videogames, cards, and quirks. I will be a success, but in my own style. So I'll shelf the party hat, and dust off the graduation cap, but the Nike's are still on my feet, and I'll still got that J.A.D swagger, with the cap tilted to the side, Love it or Leave it. And I'll always be home for dinner, just as soon as I pwn that last noob.